I once facilitated an evening seminar on the topic of “What is Love?” and thought I might share with you some of what we discovered about love in that seminar.
When I asked the participants the question, “What is Love?” the responses were as varied as the number of people in the seminar. Everyone had a vague idea about what love was but couldn’t quite explain it. So I ask you the question now, “What is Love?”
Please pause in reading this article for a moment and on a sheet of paper write the statement, “Love is” then listen to the next thought your mind has and write it down. Then repeat the statement “Love is”, over and over in your mind and each time listen to the next thought your mind has and write it down. Do this for a couple of minutes and write down everything your mind thinks about love.
Next go over the list and evaluate it. What is your core belief system about love? Is it positive or is it negative? Does it support you in having love in your life or does it guide you into a life without love.
Now here is what we discovered about love in our seminar:
Love is an experience we have in our body when we are in balance mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. That experience is there in our body all the time waiting for us to bring it out. It doesn’t come from other people, it comes from us and we are selective about whom we share it with. Why not shower it on everyone?
Let us take a look at these four sectors and find out what love is in each area so we can then balance our self in that area.
Mentally love is having the person we love be perfect exactly the way they are and exactly the way they aren’t. We must give up all of our minds judgments, evaluations, comparisons and the decisions we have made about them. We must view them as perfect divine spiritual beings just as they are and just as we are. Then act accordingly with them.
Physically love is serving the one we love completely one hundred percent with no thought of what is in it for us. It becomes more important to us that they have what they want and need than it is for us to have what we want and need. We look over at the one we love and discover what they want and need and we provide it for them. Flowers, candy, clothes, jewelry, a hug, listening to them when they need to talk, great sex, putting them to bed when they are worn out so they can rest and assuring them you will take care of everything while they are resting are all ways you can demonstrate your love for them physically.
Spiritually love is being surrendered to God, or that power that is greater than us. It is important we have a way to release our worries, doubts and anxieties by giving them up to God. Coming from, “Thy will be done, I surrender to serve you”, builds a firm foundation for us to be alive and in love. We begin to listen to the quite voice in our head and follow its direction. We ask God to speak through us and act through us to love all and serve all.
Emotionally we experience love when we open our heart. Our heart has no questions and our mind has no answers. If you are asking a lot of questions you know you are in your mind surviving and not your heart being alive and in love.
Because of times when we were hurt we have shut down our heart and walk around living in our mind. We begin judging, evaluating and comparing our self to others but we are not fully alive. We can not shut down just a part of our heart. When we shut down any part of our heart we shut down our entire heart. If we will not allow our self to feel angry when we are angry we also can not feel happy. If we will not allow our self to feel sad when we are sad then we can not feel bliss or ecstasy either. We can not shut down just a part of our heart.
When we do open our heart we are at risk, we could get hurt. With our heart open we become vulnerable, passionate, intimate and at risk but we are fully alive. Would you rather be living from your heart and be alive and in love or be in your mind being right? Good questions.
So to really experience what we call love we have to pay attention to each of the four sectors, our mind and it’s thoughts, our physical experience, our spiritual connection and our emotions. When we make sure we are in our heart, and make sure we are in balance in each of these areas. Then we can experience true love.
Heal, forgive and integrate life’s lessons. Live with more enthusiasm, honesty and love.
Enjoy more positive interactions with your children. Prepare them for a healthy, happy life.
Bring more love, excitement and satisfaction into your relationships.